Safe Spaces

Safe Spaces

Years ago in my past life when I was working in the buying offices for an outlet division of a retail company, there was a reorganization of my department. Everyone except me was promoted. That was pretty bad, but what was worse, was the way the message was delivered. I was escorted into a conference room by my director where there were about 8 other people in the room, one of who was my peer. In front of everyone, she told me I was not being promoted. It was very intimidating as she held all the power. I didn't even try to defend myself, I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Safe spaces are not just physically safe, but psychologically as well. While I was not in any bodily harm, during that meeting, I was not psychologically safe.

When engaging in dialogue, safe space is very important in allowing all parties to participate equitably. Space are safe when people are able to see and hear each other, there is an awareness of the power dynamic in the room and the space is free of all forms of violence. Another important factor is having enough time to dialogue.

While at first safe spaces might not seem like a big deal, but when put in the context of a difficult conversation or situation, it takes on greater meaning. If someone feels threatened in any way, it will shut down any opportunity to problem solve. Likewise if they are feeling rushed, it becomes difficult to dialogue.

I think safe spaces are especially important when conflicts arise between parents and children. Parents organically hold more power than their children. I cringe when I hear a parent loudly and publicly berating their child for for all to hear. It is so important to have a space where both parent and child can sit down, see and hear each other and take the time to dialogue, which includes listening. Starting this practice early will make this a standard and with benefits during those tumultuous teenage years when problems get bigger and situations get harder to navigate.